you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize