He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
