Who did Billy Mays play for?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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