I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
