I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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