I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
