WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
