North Korea, Best Korea!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
