Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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