Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
