So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Success! We fucked roommates!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
