Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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