Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
