Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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