are you so shy because you have an std?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
