i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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