That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
