Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We have so much sex to catch up on
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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