I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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