i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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