The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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