Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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