Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
