So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
