But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize