Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
