Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
