What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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