he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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