Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
