what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
