Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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