so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
