You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
