don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
