Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
