Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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