just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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