my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
