If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
This baby is an asshole
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
