if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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