Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just high enough for therapy.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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