Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
