eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
