The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
