paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Randomize
