the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
