Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
