can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We need to get me chipped asap
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
