How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This toilet bowl is my home.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
