Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
