Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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