is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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