there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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