im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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