I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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