Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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