3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
