I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
