i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
