My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
