I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
