I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
