um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i think im in europe. pls send help
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
