fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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