I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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