Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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