but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
